Speaking life

When I read this chapter of The Power of a Praying Parent, I was reminded of my mom teaching me "If I couldn't say anything nice, not to say anything at all", that is something that I've held onto(most of the time), I've become very angry over the years and I find myself lashing back and being very critical so as I read this chapter and prayed the prayer over my children, I've been touched by changes I need to make and for Stormie to say that what we speak can be controlled by our own will, has opened my eyes in many ways.

Something I grew up doing was arguing my point or so trying to but my mom would always stop me and tell me it wasn't allowed, so today I find myself thinking I'm too old to have someone tell me how to respond, how to put a lid on my feelings and to control my words but when I read the verse from Matthew 12:34, it breaks my heart to know my words come from my heart and they can either bring life or death.
If we are to lead by example, my whole family needs a complete turn around.
I can start with me and I can pray for every other person in my family but I can't change them.

I've dealt with many words that are inappropriate and I've dealt with many I hate yous and other hurtful things in my 24 years of parenting but never have I looked at it as not from the Lord but from darkness, never had I thought about correcting them I've always responded well I'm doing my job and I love you. There are many things I wish I could do differently and many things I wish I could change but it is too late, however I can pray for for God to fill in my gaps and for the Holy Spirit to penetrate the hearts of my children and that they can learn to speak life not death..... After all I'm still learning myself, so it's NOT TOO LATE!

Gifts and talents

Talents??? Is that playing an instrument, playing sports, acting, what really is a talent and a God given one at that???

Recently, I heard a message on talents and realized that our God given talents are the things that bring us joy and fulfill us. It may just be being a mom.

What gives you a purpose, what gives your life meaning???

What gives your children a purpose, or meaning to their life??

I have found it encouraging to learn that a God given talent may not be something grand or newsworthy.

I will continue to pray for my children to identify their God given talents, I had assumed my sons was to be a worship leader, after all he'd wake me up at 2 am practicing his guitar.
My daughter I always assumed would be to help others or animals because she has a heart of love for others, especially animals.

My youngest wants to be a sports star, I know if that's God's will, He will develop the skills needed to make it happen, but for now I will pray and know that he has many years to decide what it is that God is asking of him.

I like how Stormie got her son to practice and I pray that the Holy Spirit will penetrate each of our hearts as parents to help grow the talents and gifts God has given our children, until the gift and talent has taken root into our child so deep that they will have no doubt of what talents/gifts God has given them.

Combining chapters 13 and 14

Praying for a desire to take care of their body:

I'll have to admit when I saw this title I thought it was going to be about hygiene and I was ready to start praying right away... Remember, I've got a son who's 24, but not only that I had a brother... Phew..... smelly teen boys isn't something I enjoy... I am heading back into that season once again, so i knew i could use a lot of prayer on this....but No it was about being healthy and eating habits as well as exercise....
I'll admit it has never occurred to me to pray for this.... I'll also admit it was an eye opener to me....

I can't even show by example because I TRY to do it on my own willpower which isn't good. When I got through this chapter I was convicted by the Holy Spirit, you see all week I noticed I would rather eat cookies, chips, crackers and cheese (that's a little healthier) than to make me something nutritional to eat. I'd rather read a book on my kindle than do some physical activity...
Then, a light bulb went off....
I have struggled my whole life with anorexia and some bulimic behaviors as well.... I remember after having my first child, I was Finally my ideal body weight but I felt so fat... Why?, because I didn't have my size 1 anymore(yes even then I thought I was fat), I would spend endless hours doing aerobics but yet I wouldn't eat, I would choose cake for breakfast and crackers for lunch then have vegetables for dinner unless it was our night to eat out.... Well those habits haven't changed much.... I was blinded to it.... So when Stormie asked if I wished I had someone praying this over me... I answer with a resounding Yes!!!!!

I married someone with eating issues in their family as well... So guess what I have children following in that way of life.... Is it too late for me to pray for my grown children???? The answer is NO and you know what God just let me see that I have done that, so I will continue to pray and trust God to penetrate their hearts and I will start praying for my tween..... But, I can't stop there... I don't know about you but I was convicted to begin taking care of myself and make healthier life choices.... So that I don't go from one extreme to another, I must be in prayer and I need accountability... Anyone want to join me??? We also need people who are already living healthy and exercising to join me to encourage us along....

Where to begin... I have been praying 1 Corthians 6:19-20 as well as Psalms 139:23-24 over myself for sometime now but I think this is a great place to start with our kids.....

Now, for a desire to learn.... I found that I've prayed this but usually only when the kids are struggling with something and I don't know how to help them.... See that pattern again, if I can handle it I don't seek God but I know the Bible is clear and I'm to seek Him first in all areas....

Have you read in the old testament about generational curses??? I have.... I've also heard people say that God doesn't use generational curses today... But, I can look through my family history and see yes He does, but what we have today is a way to change those.... Beth Moore does a great job with the study called Breaking Free, I highly recommend it and will gladly lead a study, if anyone is interested....
I have also heard to go through my family tree and pray a prayer of repentance and forgiveness through out it starting with what I know to be repeated(non education, divorce, pregnancy out of wedlock, teen pregnancy, eating disorders, addiction, abuse, suicide, self harm... so much more... )

So, here we're asked to pray for their desire to learn and I'm faced with a reality, this is a very important prayer not only in the aspect of school, but learning about God, learning how to do task and so many other things are important to cover in prayer.

Well, I combined these two chapters because I felt they went well together and didn't think they both had enough to cover in one blog... Finding that not to be true.... Hope not too long winded.....

Health....

This one is easy.... NOT Always....

I remember praying for healthy babies, I remember the first time my oldest was sick, sitting and rocking him as I held the container to catch his throw up.... Yeah tmi
His temperature was very high 103.9, and I kept praying, taking him to the hospital to be told it was a virus.... What new mom wants to hear it's a virus and nothing can be done. He continued to be sick for sometime including a very nasty cough. Again doctor said it was a cold and virus... Well thankfully I had a cousin who was a paramedic and he listened to his chest and told me to get that baby to another doctor.... Took him to a new hospital and immediately he was hooked up to oxygen... Diagnosis pneumonia and asthma.....

I remember praying for my daughter to breathe when she was born and I was so tired but wouldn't allow myself to go to sleep until she took that first breath, as the nurse picked up the phone to call for nicu I cried out and said Lord, yes I want a daughter but I trust you to take care of her... Then and only then did she take her first breath.

Through the years I have prayed for my children over illnesses some minor and some major but I've always trusted Him to care for them.
Maybe I got that from my granny, my momma I'm not sure.... But I know without a doubt my faith was increased with Him giving my baby girl her first breath.

I've prayed with others over things and had lots of faith knowing He would answer.... But, what about today....

Yet, I've had many illnesses myself and again I've trusted God to take care of me and heal me.... He has many times from many things but honestly something changed in my belief after I had my hysterectomy and one thing after another went wrong I felt myself questioning God and wondering why, I then read 2 Corinthians 1 and a light bulb went off.... To help others in the way I've been comforted... OK so back to being positive, I finally felt better than I had in my whole life but in 2011, I was hit with another illness, this time I thought I was having a heart attack but never found the cause, then 2013 hit the same way once again but this time was diagnosed with asthma... 2014 same time hit again but because no steroids, inhalers etc was helping allergy test done, very allergic to many things.... Then august 2014 vertigo hit like nothing I've ever experienced and because it has continued to be really bad at times I've found myself discouraged and asking God why again... I hear 2Corinthians 1 running through my head but I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemies.... So it is really pressing on my faith, OK that's being transparent.

Do I believe God is here and hears my cries, yes in my heart I do.... Just trying to wrap my head around it to believe it and not give up. Its not fun walking like I'm drunk or bending over to hug or kiss my son and grandson, or leaning my head over to hug my husband or dad, or bending to cook, clean or make a bed, washing dishes all the things I've always had to do.... It leaves me unbalanced and I'm  afraid I'm going to fall.
So when I read this chapter, I found myself asking do I still pray for illnesses, health etc ???? with as much faith as I once had????
Do I feel God will do it for someone else but not me???  What do I believe anymore????

It has taken me sometime to blog it because I always try to be positive and encouraging and when I wasn't feeling it..
I was going to skip it but after church Sunday, I realized maybe I just need to share how I'm feeling and how I too struggle with faith and belief....

Sometimes I feel I have nothing else to offer anyone, I feel I'm just barely here, barely functioning, yet I press forward. No, I don't do all the things I need to daily, no, I don't feel like getting out of the bed most days but I do, I press forward and I read, I pray, I sing(yeah off key), I take care of my family the best I can. I take a shower and if my husband is lucky I put on make up. I keep telling myself Phillipians 4:13... I can do all things in Christ Who gives me strength.

But the best positive in it is that no matter what I can continue to praise God, I know without a doubt that it is going to be OK whether He heals me here or whenever He calls me to come be with Him in my forever home. I'm much like Paul wishing it was today, yet not wanting to leave my family and friends just yet.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, I enjoyed spending time with my extended family and getting to see some of my nieces and nephews. Along with my adult children and grandson.... I'm very blessed.